It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since the worst of the bites. I have graduated with a masters in social work. I have added not one but two Springers to my family to fill the giant void left by Charlie.
I have had amazing friends support me through my first dockdogs season with out my Iron Dog (he could do all three disciplines) and two new dogs jumping when they wanted.
I had a calendar to flip each month to remind me of wonderful happy memories with my heart dog.
I got a tattoo of his paw print. I see my scars everyday. I hear songs that make me think of him. Facebook gives me daily reminders of my Chuckaboo.
But I managed to survive… maybe taking a class on grief right after he crossed the rainbow bridge, made my transitions smoother or easier.
I have days I just want to cry. I have days I manage to laugh at happy funny Charlie moments.
I see Maisel learning his antics. I see Huck filling into a moose like big springer boy like him. I have Eddie who supported Charlie and I through the journey.
Maisel has learned how to counter surf, lick my legs after a shower, cuddle on top of me and the lip curl photo smile. Huck is learning everything- from how to play to how to snuggle. Eddie is Eddie and he had his own period of grief of charlie and then again when he no longer was the only dog after a week.
I made one of the hardest decisions of my life almost a year ago. I miss him dearly everyday. He will always be my original heart dog and first rescue, and hopefully my biggest project.
And the song that had come up multiple times from right around the bite to days recently, when I seem to need it most, is Walls (by Tom Petty) covered by the Lumineers.
Grief is one of the hardest emotion (or series of emotions) a human experiences. It’s up and down, back and forth, hits you out of nowhere pain. It’s changes to everyday life. It’s sadness and happiness in the same minute.
With this in mind, I have to thank my friends for their support for the past year and in advance for the coming months.